From the recording Make More Money
Our town had a Wal-Mart, so it wasn’t half bad
But I told my mom “ain’t no girls to be had”
Now, mom didn’t want me goin’ movin’ away
Takin’ up with some woman before she had her say
So mom took up lookin’ for just the right one
Had I known what she was doin,’ I would’ve come undone
Mom looked all over, then in front of her eyes
Was a Wal-Mart girl; thought she might be the prize
So mom called her over to check her all out
The girl thought mom was nuts, what she was askin’ about
But she couldn’t run off so mom got to know
Had she ever served any time on death row?
Mom said: “Are you married? Do you have any kids?
Do you drink? Do drugs? Are you on the skids?
How much time have you spent in back seats?
Most important of all, can you fry tasty meat?”
Well, when mom got the answers every mama she wants
Came and told me she’d found me one par excellence
You know, when mom explained, I just wanted to die
So to Wal-Mart I went to apologize
I told the girl: “So sorry my mom freaked you out
Can you forgive? Hey, there’s no need to shout
My mom, you see, just loves me a bunch
By the way, pretty girl, can I take you to lunch?”
Repeat FIRST CHORUS
Repeat SECOND CHORUS
In the end, I guess I should say:
“Thanks, mom, ’cause, ah, we’re gettin’ married.”
Words & Music by Don Tomlinson
© 2019 Solid Sterling Music (BMI).
All Rights Reserved.
Legal: One-stop contracting. Control rights to UMC and SR.
Contact phone number: 832.444.4848 (text/mobile)
Mood: Bizarre; Crazy; Funny; Positive
Key: C / BPM: 140 / Length: 3:24